With one month left to live, I'd spend the huge majority of it with my closest loved ones.

I would stop going to school-- not that I don't enjoy school and value learning, but if I'm going to die in one month, I think I've learned enough.

I would mostly just sit around with friends and family all day. I'd fly my sister in from Illinois. I'd make sure to have one-on-one time with everyone, but in general the hanging out would be non-exclusive. I'd spend a lot of time at the beach.

I'd write notes to leave my loved ones for after I was gone. I'd clean my room a little bit, in particular to make sure there wasn't anything gnarly lingering under the bed or a journals that would be better off burned, or at least not given to parents. I'd give a lot of things away.

And in my spare time I'd play music.

hey livejournal.

my muse seems to be evading me, so I thought I would try my old friend LJ. (For people on my friends-list still reading...def. find me on facebook, because these days I just don't stop in here that often. Not that I'm not glad when we also happen to meet here, of course.)

so, anyway. just booked me and the kid sis on a flight to new orleans for spring break. should be good. flights and hotel bookings ended up being kind of tricky to do cheaply so we're only going to be there for like 4.5 days (instead of 6ish like I was hoping) but that's okay. hope melanie likes it.

tomorrow, going with kimberly to...a bridal fashion show? something like that. wait, i just realized i have no idea why we're going. we've already bought our bridesmaids dresses, and she's in the process of having her dress custom-made and i swear she's probably already figured out mostly everything. hmm. well, girl bonding time can't hurt.

one more week until school starts. can hardly believe it's been three weeks-- they've really flown. it feels like i've hardly had more than a few minutes at a time to myself. makes me miss aunt edie's in beersheva, where we just sat around and read books for hours.

with the break, i find i'm feeling more and more human/alive, but i'm not sure if i'm really feeling myself yet. i find myself having a lot of....pained? moments. like, for some reason i keep reliving these really socially awkward moments where i've felt embarrassed. fabulous. and then also, i'm having a hard time getting my enthusiasm back. i feel sort of stifled, like if i get excited about things (like asia this summer) then i'm pressuring other people. or also, like i should be doing other things. i think i spent way too much time doing asia scribbles in my calculus notebook last semester and now i feel guilty about it.

sort of interested in school starting but i feel guilty (again! lots of guilt) that i haven't ordered my books yet. i just feel like i haven't had enough time to get everything done. i could do it right now...but i should also be sleeping right now. having trouble deciding how to use my time. i just want to do less, but i hate that doing less generally means missing stuff with friends. surprisingly important stuff, often.

i gotta head to bed...but hopefully i'll be back soon. i need to write, somewhere, and it seems to be coming easier here.

Me: I've noticed that I just squander my time. At first I thought it was an internet addiction, but I could just as easily do dishes. Anything to escape from life.

Dora-the-'splorer: Ah, have you been watching a lot of TV?

Me: Yes, exactly.

Dora (excited): Have you been watching The Biggest Loser???

Me: Not this season...

Dora: The finale is on Tuesday and it's going to be SO GOOD!

Amy and I are going on the birthright trip to Israel on May 18, Mayanot Bus 46. I'm so excited! I've pretty much been jumping up and down all day...the adrenaline rush is finally winding down:-p

We're going to extend our trip and visit Egypt and Jordan-- has anyone else been? We could definitely use suggestions for transportation and must-see sights, etc.

There's something about staying up late-- it brings this funny mix of guilt and pride. And maybe some other things. I don't know exactly. Right now I'm like, "omg, it's nearly 1:30. I should not be up this late, I wanted to wake up at 8 tomorrow..." but at the same time I'm like, "I'm awake later than anyone else. I'm done with my work for the day, and now I can do whatever I want so long as I don't fall asleep." I guess sleep sounds nice, but not nearly as fun as being awake. Maybe if I were better at lucid dreaming. Whenever I figure out I'm dreaming, it just wakes me up:-p They say that gets better with practice though.

Mike, dunno if you're reading, but I've been out of town, but I know you called. How long are you in town? Or did I miss you?

"A New Zealand judge has made a 9-year-old girl a ward of the court so that her name can be changed from Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii, the country's national news agency reported Thursday."

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/07/24/odd.names/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

stolen from satinelune

I'm no good at asking questions, but I don't mind answering them. The problem is that not many people bother to ask. Probably a lack of creative inspiration. So I'll post a list of seven partial questions, and you can just fill in the blanks with whatever you want and I'll answer as best I can, even if they're completely incomprehensible.

1. What do you think of _____________ ?
2. When did you last ____________?
3. __________ or ___________ and why?
4. What did you ______________?
5. What's your favorite ______________?
6. How would you ______________?
7. Who would you most like to ________ ?

So for some reason, when my friends page loads, it's playing AWFUL music.

Does anyone know why this is happening? I expected it to be an entry on my friends list, but I couldn't find one that seemed to be a culprit...no embedded videos, or anything. I thought that livejournal didn't let videos auto-play, anyway? If anyone has any idea where it's coming from, let me know. I kind of want to kill whoever caused it. Or at the very least de-friend them or put them on a filter.

Everyone is pregnant!

I mean, not everyone. But a whole lotta people. Facebook is swimming today with remarks about real easter baskets in nine months and ultrasound pictures. I feel oddly left out...like when I'm ready to have kids, there won't be anyone left having babies, or something. lol.

Anyway. Life is good.

this is amazing.

http://www.dothetest.co.uk/